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Seven, Oh 7
Want to hear something strange – most certainly insignificant, but still weird and a tad creepy? It has to do with yours truly, The Great I-Could-Be, and the Number 7. Let’s start with some life and death facts:
My Birthday: 07/16/52
07 = 7
16 = 7
52 = 7
Date of My Father's Passing 04/03/07
4+3 = 7
07 = 7
Date of My Mother's Passing 04/03/08
4+3 = 7
8 + …..or is it “8 – “ (see Footnote 1 at the end of this essay)
From here it gets even weirder. Please read this carefully before adding it to your MySpace page. Before taking that step please consider that if you buy into the fact that the Number 7 and I have ‘this thing’ for each other, you could receive the dreaded designation of “Chief Family Nut Job.” You want to proceed? Then you do so, my friends, at your own risk!
The Number 7 – Hear Today and……Here Again Tomorrow
While at the care facility where my mother passed away our family was collectively trying to at least convey the impression that we were already coping with what had just occurred. In this contrived ‘lighter moment’ I was sharing some of my thoughts concerning the impressive number of coincidences in my life where the Number 7 is present with my sweet sister-in-law Lisa. No sooner had I mentioned my birth date and other interesting (at least to me….) snippets – pausing for just a moment to allow the others to marvel at my numerical awareness quotient – than the normally soft-spoken Lisa almost shouted out “Look…..7!” I had no idea what she meant until I looked across the room and saw that my nephew Zach was wearing a shirt with the letters “S-E-V-E-N” embroidered across the front of it.
This was beginning to play out like a convoluted, cheap, local production of Poe’s Telltale Heart, where I was neither the madman nor the heart but, rather, the object of statutory harassment by the Number 7. It really was starting to seem as if the Number 7 was actually seeking me out. But, if so, why? I returned to my home in Gilbert, AZ not realizing that these unexpected exposures to the Number 7 were just beginning.
The Following Events and Observations Actually Occurred…….in Surreal Time
That same week I randomly decided – and to say ‘randomly’ would be to trivialize the word ‘random’ – to record the last part of the Conan O'Brien show because I noticed that the musical group “They Might Be Giants” was scheduled to perform. I have a good friend who loves this band (my friend’s name is Stephen…..not Steven, spelled with 6 letters, but Stephen spelled with 7 letters) and I had always figured that I would eventually find a way to humor him by catching some of TMBG’s act. Keep in mind that I had never – never ever - heard – anything – not even a single song by this band. So I decided to check them out.
Conan did his typical intro: "And now, from their new CD Here Come the 123’s, please welcome They Might Be Giants!" So TMBG starts singing this dorky song that starts out with two strange lines: “Oh there’s the doorbell….Let’s see who’s out there.” I continued to listen and it suddenly occurred to me that the lyrics included dozens of repetitions of the Number ‘7’! This sounds contrived? You doubt this really happened? Well, Doubting Thomas’s and Thomasina’s, kindly navigate to following URL:
http://disneymusic.disney.go.com/artists/theymightbegiants.html
and listen for yourself. Using the player on that site, you can navigate to this song called (duh!) “Seven,” which would have in fact been Track 7 except they inserted a song called “Zero” as the first track for some reason. Some people! Everyone knows Zero-times-anything equals Zero, so what’s the point of counting it?
Despite the fact that by now I am starting to feel even more creeped out by this whole ‘7’ thing I, with no agenda or forethought, decide to listen to the next song, thinking it will be something about the Number 8. But the next song was actually called – no lie – “Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go To Work).” This made me a little paranoid because here I was, transfixed at my computer – spending my valuable time composing this absurd drivel from the confines of my home office rather than ‘going to work’ – when, from far away, somewhere in the World of Seven, I was told I had spent enough time on this essay for the day and that I should go to work! This was a bona fide “woooo-woooo moment” for me because, for the first time, I realized that whatever numerical resonance was tuning into my life was 2-way! I was, in essence, sending data to some great 7-bit Computer in the Sky and, in return, was beginning to receive messages? Was it merely a series of sappy coincidences or was a Greater Purpose at work?
I of course expect you – everyone – to draw his/her own conclusions. If the situation was clear to me I would state it as fact and ignore all of the naysayers, but that isn’t the case. Maybe this is interesting to you, maybe it isn’t. But assuming you have managed to remain conscious during this riveting, revealing and perhaps revolting (to the unenlightened) exposé, I would like to pose a question to you (relax, it’s multiple-choice, for crying out loud, you can handle it!):
Do you find it more disturbing that:
1) My life-force appears to be the target of some sort of wacky, perhaps mystical, assault by the number 7?
- OR -
2) Anyone would spend as much as a nanosecond thinking about such inconsequential minutia?I find myself immediately regretting that I asked you this question, and I want to immediately retract it because, you see, it is pointless. I already know which answer you chose – the answer everyone chose. Everyone selected “2” because:
a) That answer is more insulting to me, your humble and observant scribe, and you are all out to get me
- and –
b) Answer ‘2’ consists of 14 words, which is divisible by 7. Yes, I hear some of you snickering. Of course I wrote both questions but I had no idea that number 2 would be 14 words. PEven if I agreed with you that this is reaching a bit, what follows should convince you that this matters to someone, somewhere.
I, in all honesty, had decided to drop this subject, put it all behind me, and chalk it up to whatever (followed quickly by a phone call to a reputable numerologist, if that is not an oxymoron). But it was too late to make that transition because, unfortunately, we had to travel to Salt Lake City for my Mother's funeral and, little did I know, the Number 7 would try to make contact several more times along the way.
It Was Just There
When flying out of Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport I normally park at Smart Park, but as we approached the lot it was obvious that the business had closed its gates. Not seeing another option immediately, we decided to return to the Long-Term Parking lot at the airport. We used the old ‘hunt and peck’ method to find a parking spot so it took a few minutes, but we found a spot, parked and began looking for the closest bus stop so we could catch a bus to the terminal. We looked around and could only see that particular bus stop, so we walked there with our suitcases. We sat down, greeted another party that arrived at the bus stop at about the same time, and then sat down. We sighed, looked up, and only then realized that we were at Stop #7. Contrived? Would I spend this much time trying to perpetuate a meaningless myth that, at its core, isn't really very entertaining? Of course not!
I don’t know what else to say about these occurrences except to say that, if they are random and coincidental – which I and any rational person would assume is the case – they are certainly persistent. Should I could ignore all of this and say ‘what the heck?’ Should I stare down attempts to be contacted by the Number 7 whenever it forces itself into my line of sight and pretend I don’t see it?
I have to admit that it is a little troubling. You may find it to be silly, but I can't just ignore all of this. My sincere hope is that ‘legitimate Numerologist' is not an oxymoron (Footnote 2). This whole thing is probably a ridiculous waste of energy, but how can I assume that is the case? Paralysis by analysis, some would say. But even if my awareness of the unusually frequent presence of the Number 7 were simply the result of an unhealthy focus on the mystical and mindless, I can't shake the feeling that one of my life's important purposes is to understand why it is happening.
Any ideas?
Sincerely,
Gregory (aka Papa Linus)
(Geezo-Smeezo, I just realized my flipping name consists of 7 letters. In the words of my formerly close associate, Charlie (7 letters!) Brown: “Good Grief! I’m Doomed!)
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Post Script
Before leaving Salt Lake City I attended the Tabernacle Choir broadcast in Salt Lake City despite working 17 hours in a recording studio the two previous days, and getting to bed at 1:30 am the morning of the broadcast. I felt I needed to go, to be there because my brother Stephen is considering leaving the Choir in 2008 (2007 would have been soooo much more appropriate), so this was perhaps my last opportunity to see him perform 'live' with the choir. Or was that the reason?
I am beginning to wonder myself. Perhaps you know that at the end of the weekly broadcast the announcer always says "May Peace Be With You, This Day and Always" then provides the numbers of broadcasts the Choir has done consecutively over its 79 years on the air. So the mellow Voice of the Spoken Word, Lloyd Newell, says the following (Stephen as my witness):
"This concludes the 4,102nd broadcast of Music and the Spoken Word”.....and so on. Then I thought, "no, it can't be, but it was undeniable: 4+1+0+2 equals........7 ! What, now I can’t even be protected from this numerological onslaught even when abiding within the newly renovated Tabernacle, within the freeking Everlasting Hills?
But it doesn’t end here…..
My daughter, Leslie, and son, Bryan (and Rachel, Bryan's good friend) ran a 5K race last week. Les and Bryan finished at exactly the same time, and you’ll never guess what that time was! Okay, so maybe you guessed:
If you said “43 minutes, 52 seconds” you win a valuable prize! So you know this is legit, Rachel finished in 43 minutes, 55 seconds. Leslie ran from the back of the pack for the first few miles then sprinted for the last mile or so. So what are the odds that she would catch up with Bryan, finish at the exact same time, and that their time would be 43 (7) minutes and 52 (7) seconds? The odds are at least 7:1 against it.
I asked them to finish the story and tell me where they finished in the race because I have no doubt that their 'place' is 7-related. I told them to find this out and tell me if either of their places, added together, equals 7. I told them if they tied for 77th I would pass that on – it would be interesting to someone. But if they tied for 777th I said I wouldn’t mention it - a single, solitary contribution to what has become known, internationally, as the “Greg is Morphing Into Edgar Allen Poe’s Character in the Tell-Tale Heart, Except He’s Obsessed with a Number Instead of an Organ” Project or “the Greatest Linus Compulsion of All Time” for short, isn't a topic compelling enough to let the word slip out that my offspring had placed 777th in a race! 7-obsessed or not, I still have a heart, and would resist the urge to put that performance on parade and embarrass them. If it were true.
I Solemnly Swear to Never Profane
Okay, I completely agree with you: I've spent more than enough time on this, not to mention way more than enough of your time. I have issues – who doesn’t? At least I don’t have the 7 Deadly Issues, which may or may not be a curse mentioned in the Bible, or it may stem from a vague admission of my tendency to only obey about 7 Commandments (note the capital 'C') at the same time (10 is, for me, pretty overwhelming at times). Maybe I’ll never know what I should be learning from these 'contacts', odd coincidences, or whatever you want to call them.
And I am very hesitant to discuss this with a 'professional,' if you know what I mean. My latest worry is that if I consult with a ‘legitimate numerologist’ (Footnote 2) , he/she will tell me that the Number 7 is invariably associated with people who are "waaaaay below average.” You can see how that would be pretty upsetting and degrading, some would say, to people who are actually waaaaay below average.
But that conversation has not and probably will never take place. For one reason I don’t intend to spend money in such a frivolous manner, so the odds are pretty long that I would ever receive that disconcerting news. More importantly, I am currently taking steps to put an end to this discussion, wean myself of this obsession. To help me make a clean break from this insanity I decided to enter a 12 + 1 Step Program. I’m ignoring the other 12 steps that average people need, and going right to Number 13 which is to “Admit that there is an even higher power – the Internet.”
I’m all over that one.
** Facts is Facts **
So I went to http://paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp, as recommended to me by A Friend, and entered my birth date and year. The rather extensive results from that query are found at: http://paulsadowski.com/BirthData.asp and include the following:
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 7.99021526418787 years old
Your lucky day is Monday.
Your lucky numbers (are) 2 & 7.
Your ruling planet is Moon.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Capricorn.
Your opposition number(s) is 8.
Today is not one of your lucky days!
Eastern Wisdom aside, I would argue that today is actually my lucky day. Why, you say?
Because it's Tuesday, naturally. And not only does Tuesday have 7 letters, but it is the only day of the week spelled with 7 letters. So I've got that goin' for me, which is nice. But the reality is that if you are still not A Believer, after all we've been through together today, you never will be. So smile and enjoy a life in denial. But it might just drive you a little crazy thinking about the possibility that there is A Number out there that is trying to contact you from the uber-desert otherwise known as your semi-conscious mind and, unlike myself, you'll never know it is happening.
My advice?
Seek the truth (aaaahm)
Be the truth (aaaahm)
Embrace the truth (aaaahm)
and, most importantly
.......feel free to ignore the truth if, for any reason at all, you find the implications of acknowledging the 'alleged facts' to be annoying or requiring too much physical or mental energy. And even if you hold me in complete disdain, I will be undeterred. I will simply forgive you "70 times 7," to quote the Good Book, and be on my merry way. As I always say, at least occasionally, you can't please anyone some of the time, but you can't please anyone ever.
But that's just one Linus' view of the world.
And I could be wrong.
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Footnote 1:
Don't be silly. Of course I see the ‘08’ after 04/03! Inclined to throw water on my 'Number 7 obsession?’ I highly recommend that you first consider the following:
- My mom was the 7th eldest person in our (the Wayne Carter) family
- She was the 7th youngest in her (the Ross J. Ramsey) family.
- You want more? Her date of birth is the 16th (October 16, 1930).
Footnote 2:
Some might say that ‘legitimate numerologist’ is an oxymoron. Actually, my problems go much deeper than that because, until recently I thought an oxymoron was an idiot that uses too much acne medication. I’ve taken some heat for that misconception so I’ll compromise and say that, simply based on the laws of probability, there has to be a legitimate numerologist somewhere.
