There is no joy in the universe that is greater than knowing that your child has found his/her way in the world. Even if you don't always know it, Leslie, you are a beacon of strength, and you bless the lives of many of us who are privileged to know you....and yes, yes, yes, that includes your parents.
But the Lord teaches even those who are strong that we aren't in control of everything, and that the virtue that makes us able to receive love is just as important as the charity that moves us to give love. At this time you have been called upon to magnify your ability to receive love, and to embrace what it means to depend on others for your sustenance. I know that no grandparent in the world loves his children and grandchildren more than I do - it would be impossible to love you all more. It's no surprise that I make no claim to being one of the 'strong ones,' but I can tell you that my heart is molten, broken to the core, at the loss of Crew. Also, as one of Crew's grandparents, I have some grasp of the amount of pain you, Will and the kids are experiencing (I would contend that no one knows how a parent feels in this situation, not even a grandparent, but we're not that far removed).
How I wish there was something more that I could do! But I am left alone in my own thoughts, able only to observe the handiwork of your life, the measure of your righteousness in action and, above all, to marvel at the woman you have become.
The lessons we learn from this unspeakable tragedy are many perhaps, but one of the primary messages that is coming home to me is that we aren't in control of what happens in life, and that each day is a gift. I love each of my children in a way that even I can't put into words. But I can tell you that, at this moment, the full volume of that love is flowing to you and your wonderful family. We are with you, and God is with you, that much I know for sure, and I know you will learn to deal with this in time and even look at it as a blessing in terms of what you will have learned, and how these lessons will influence your life now and forevermore.
I have had Elder Dan Gray on my mind for literally the last 3 months. I don't know why - I even had a number of dreams about Dan and his family. Out of the blue last night I had a moment and I did it - I called my good friend Dan Gray.
I have not spoken to Dan in at least 10 years, probably more like 15. And the streak is still running....he was not home, but his wonderful wife Becky was home. Why do I mention this?
Because Dan and Becky are the Leslie and Will of Salt Lake City - people that everyone wants to be around, that everyone loves. And, yes, Dan was the star quarterback at
About 30 years ago their second child, Corrinne, was born. For many years - about 20, if I recall - Corrinne remained in a crib, unable to control her movements. She could not talk, move, eat normally - she was as disabled and mentally damaged as any child or person I have ever seen.
Two things came to mind back then: I couldn't believe how difficult this must be for them, and I couldn't believe that people who had done all the right things would be put in this position. Oh, and there was a third thing: I knew that they were rare in that they were going to be strong enough to deal with it.
Now, after many years of hard work, and hundreds of thousands of dollars, Corrinne now leaves the house once a week. And her parents? They talk only of their love for her, and how much she has blessed their lives?
Could I do this? "Of course you could," said Becky. Well, all due respect to the former Miss Horne, I seriously doubt it. I rather think that I would be crying in my (Near) Beer until the cows came home. But Becky and Dan have done it, and turned a tragedy into a building block for their lives.
I'm not made of that mettle but, fortunately, you and Will are. I know beyond any doubt that you will see your way beyond these hours of despair, in time, and emerge stronger and with a life more full of joy for it. Crew isn't gone from your - from OUR - family. He is even now enjoying the fruits of whatever comes to a valiant servant in the
In the meantime those of us who love you also feel, in our own way, the profound loss of Crew - the life he might have lived, and the joy we could have shared had he been able to live a long life. And that hurts. It really hurts. But, at the same time, we absolutely cannot help but feel more resolved than ever to live our lives in such a way that we will be worthy to be present, and to participate in that great reunion.
